Marriage Planning

While not “counseling”, per se, our church has once monthly “Preparing for Marriage” sessions for all of the engaged folks.  You see, we go to a mega-church in a college town so there’s always a bunch of engaged couples.  We were able to make our first session recently after much angst on my part about not being able to do any “marriage” preparation before the big day.  And boy was I underwhelmed.

The title of the session on that day was “Roles and Differences” which sounds really interesting and compelling, right?  Not so much.  We sat through a very traditional “conversation” about how it is the man’s duty to be the spiritual leader of the family (so far so good) as well as the financial provider (meh).  The woman’s role is to help and provide for the family and home (gnawing stomach pain begins).

How is this supposed to help young couples who don’t neatly fall into these roles?  I can’t cook frozen food for heaven’s sake!  How the heck am I supposed to suddenly morph into some nesting homemaker?  Meanwhile, Jordan has freely acknowledged that he would love to take significant time off work to take care of our kids.  How is he supposed to do that when it’s his DUTY to provide for our family?  These “roles” just don’t fit our personalities or the personalities of many other young couples today, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all.  It surely doesn’t mean that our marriage is doomed.

So while Jordan and I rode home contemplating all that was just said, he said the most wonderful thing.  He said, “I don’t think that it matters WHO does what as long as it is being done.”  As long as someone is making some money and as long as someone is taking care of the kids and as long as someone makes sure that our family gets a little food in our bodies who cares who does it?!  I had been feeling so nauseous with worry and insecurity about my domestic inabilities that I hadn’t even been able to think about the session in a constructive way.  And that is just another reason why I am marrying him.

As for the marriage sessions, we will keep going.  But ultimately we have to look at what we’re given and see if it works for us.  If it does, great.  If it doesn’t, maybe there’s something that it can teach us about our relationship that will help us in the future.

Flowers

Have you every noticed how your wedding “priorities” don’t necessarily have to be the thing that you splurge on?  For me, having a wedding dress that I feel beautiful in is a big priority,  but that did not mean that I was willing to spend any more than a few hundred dollars on it.  Sometimes people feel that because an item is a “priority” that it becomes splurge-worthy.  I disagree.

For me flowers were a priority.  And by priority I mean that I wanted real flowers at my wedding.  I still couldn’t justify spending tons of money on hiring a florist.  Many months ago I began checking out the local grocery stores to see what my options were.  After doing a lot of browsing I have finally placed my big flower order at Whole Foods.  And here’s what I got:

For my bouquet, white peonies.  That is right-peonies in January.  Who woulda thunk it?  As soon as the words escaped out of the floral clerk’s mouth I knew that I. Would.  Have.  Peonies.  It made me feel much better about missing out on my beloved dahlias.   (Image from The Knot)

For the bridesmaid’s bouquets I selected white fuji mums.  These were not a flower that I was very familiar with, but when I saw how beautiful they were in the store I changed my mind about the ranunculus that I was going to get and went with these because I couldn’t resist the great texture.  Another photo from The Knot:

And I decided to stick with hydrangeas for the centerpieces.  I also ordered some green hypericum berries to add some interest.  If I have enough I may add them to the bouquets. Not quite what I imagine, but this photo from Bloomery Weddings will give you an idea…

And for the boutonniers…nothing.  I have decided to let Jordan get the guys some pocket squares and call it a day.  I don’t think that they’ll be missed!

I purposefully over-ordered flowers-far better to have way too many than too few right?!  If anything is left I will set up extra vases for the food and cake tables and in the bathrooms too.

Stay tuned for the big floral diy post!  I will be sure to take lots of notes on hints and advice for diy floral projects.

Move Over Gocco…

There’s a new tool out on the market for, get this, Letterpress.  Yes, the Letterpress purists may cringe when they see it but I think that this new gadget is really, really cool.  A purist I am not, considering I couldn’t tell you what Letterpress was before I got engaged!  However, after many months of perusing wedding blogs I can definitely see the appeal (though I can’t justify the cost).  I am seriously considering asking for it for Christmas (although there are sooo many other things that I actually need right now).  Here are some images of what this bad boy can do, courtesy of the website.

I can imagine all of the projects that I would do with this.  I would never be running out to buy a birthday card at the last minute again!

For more info on how this works check out Lifestyle Crafts

The Post That Left You Hanging

Do you remember AGES ago when I mentioned my engagement photos?  Well, I actually misplaced the CD in the midst of all of my running around all across the state and didn’t have it available for uploading onto my computer.  Now that I’ve spent a little time in my own apartment again I have rediscovered it and have some of my favorite photos ready to share…

I don’t know how Evan made us unphotogenic weirdos look so nice!

Processional

I’m pretty famous for changing my mind.  I was going back and forth this weekend over flowers and even after making a plan, I got to the store and changed my mind at the last minute, ultimately going with something that I hadn’t even considered yet.  Jordan knows not to trust my “decisions” until the money is paid or an agreement has been made.

For the processional I have “been sure” about 4 different songs.  But this weekend I heard THE song.  I will not be changing my mind about this detail.  So here’s what happened: Jordan and I are killing time in Barnes and Noble.  He walks up to me pointing up in the air.  I look at him like he’s crazy and he then points to his ear.  I’m still not picking up on his sign language, so he tells me to listen to the song that is playing.  And this is what I hear:

We fell in love with this song immediately,  Jordan bought the CD right there in the store, and it was done.

The only thing that is not done is whether I will walk down the aisle to that song or a different song.  I kind of like the idea of having my own song with its own feel, but I don’t want to have the never-ending processional.  The song that I had picked for myself is this one:

So what do you think?  One song or two?

RSVPs

I think that we’re going to have like 99% attendance at our wedding.  I’m going through our list and there are only a few people that I think may not be coming.  It’s a little scary…

but pretty awesome too!

I think that it just means that we invited the right people.  The people that really want to be there with us on our big day.

2 Months Away

I can’t believe it, but today is the 2 month mark!  That means a lot of things-invitations are out (!), all of the wedding timelines from websites are flashing in my inbox, and I am getting super excited!

So I know you want to see the invites so here are some photos:

We decided to keep our invites as simple as possible so that they wouldn’t stress us out.  Jordan designed the invites in Photoshop and we printed them onto white cardstock.  We then mounted that on navy cardstock after rounding all of the edges.  After reading all of Budget Savvy Bride’s advice about DIY invites we decided to go with having our paper cut by Kinkos which was ABSOLUTELY the way to go.  Here’s the catch: print your invites FIRST and then make your cuts.  We could not get our printer to print properly on pieces of paper that are smaller than 8.5” by 11”, so we wasted some paper by cutting it before we realized that we couldn’t print on it.  That was truly our only snafu.  This was SO incredibly easy and I wouldn’t have done our invites any other way.  Please don’t be intimidated to make your own invites!   Also, this was a surprisingly quick project.  We made our invites in an evening while watching a movie.

In addition to the invite, we made a RSVP card that instructed our guests to RSVP by calling or e-mailing us.  We also included another card giving our wedding website information.  In the end, we made them separately so they didn’t entirely match (two different brands of white cardstock), but whatevs.  I am beyond the point of stressing about minor details.

Mom and her friends did a great job of addressing these bad boys, so all I had to to this weekend was pick them up, stuff the envelopes, add a stamp, and drop in the mailbox with a great deal of excitement!

So Much For Wedding Planning

My surgery rotation ended last Friday which (I thought) would give me more free time for wedding planning.  On Monday I started my outpatient medicine rotation in a rural corner of NC, where I was expecting to work much better hours.  Unfortunately it seems that won’t be the case.  I am in clinic every day from 8am until 7pm and have a thirty minute drive to get back to the apartment where I am staying.  I had plans!  I was going to exercise and sew and work on projects and blog about my progress.  Now I drive home, scrap together some dinner, and study for a little while before I have to go to bed so that I can get up and do it all over.  I don’t mean to complain, I just wish that I had a little more time to devote to the wedding now that I am almost to the two-month mark!

So what have I been up to lately?  Actually a lot.  I have finally found my rehearsal dinner location.  There’s an adorable 1920’s soda shop close to our venue in downtown Pittsboro.  It definitely isn’t a traditional venue, but I went anyway, on a hunch that it could be our place.  I am SO glad that I did!  Just look at this place:

 

These photos are of the private room on the second floor.  Unfortunately there is no handicapped access and two of our most important guests (our grandmothers) are disabled.  Instead we will be having our partay downstairs which is just as cute (and actually resembles the soda shop slash pharmacy from It’s a Wonderful Life).

In the end, this option was such a great deal.  The soda shop is completely family owned and operated.  They are opening up just for our rehearsal dinner on New Year’s day which many other places wouldn’t do.  We are also getting a great deal.  Other places were offering us hor d’oeurves for the price which the soda shop has offered us a steak dinner.    I think that ultimately we will go with a lasagna dinner to save money (and besides, I don’t eat steak).

I’m so glad that I’ve taken care of this part of the planning.  The rehearsal dinner was really hanging over my head, since it was the last major detail to be decided.  I feel like everything that happens now is just extra.

Wedding Fatigue

Maybe it’s just because I have my big surgery exam today and I’ve been a little distracted, but I’m encountering a little wedding fatigue.  I’m losing interest in blogs and don’t feel the urgency to complete some of my projects that I was feeling.

As the day is approaching I am caring less about the details.  Whether the bridesmaid dresses “go” with the flower girl dress and other “problems” like that seem less important.  I simply don’t have the time to worry about them.  While my self-consciousness prevailed earlier in the planning (“I want people to think that this looks nice”), now my sentimentality is gearing up.  I am caring less about what people think about the decorations and the food and our ceremony, beause I’m just so darned excited to see them!  All of my favorite people will be in one place to celebrate our union and I can’t wait!  I’m also excited to start spending more time with Jordan.  While we’ve been on away rotations we’ve been limited to visiting one weekend a month which is HARD.  After we get married we’ll actually be living in the same city for about three months!

I don’t really know what has shifted in my thinking, but truthfully I really love the change.  It’s so much more fun to be excited about a big event than nervous about it!

And for a quick little update about the planning, here is a picture of our flower girl dress that came in the mail this week:

I purchased it on Ebay from seller foralittleangel for a very inexpensive $25 (including shipping).  My little cousin, Azure, is totally going to rock this dress!

A Wedding, Tainted

This week when I was in the hospital I ran across this article on Cnn.com about a couple in Louisiana that were denied a marriage license by a Justice of the Peace solely based on the fact that they are a biracial couple.  The couple is speaking out about the incident and government higher-ups are calling for the dismissal of this public official.  Despite the outrage that has spawned from the incident the official stands by his decision saying that he is doing it “for the children” and that “interracial marriages don’t last”.

I was really appalled at this incident.  This man claims that he is not racist but he obviously is and is using his power as an elected official to spread that racism.  As one-half of an interracial couple I really take offense to this man’s ignorant claims.  I am sure that he has done no research into whether interracial couples divorce more often than same-race couples and he clearly has no experience as a biracial child.  I’m going to speak for Jordan here a bit, but as a young biracial man he hasn’t felt slighted and has tons of black and white friends and fits in well with whoever he is around.  I know he wouldn’t appreciate hearing that someone “feels sorry” for him as he hasn’t really “suffered” from being biracial.  Of course experiences hinge largely on the type of community that a person lives in, and despite living in some rural Southern areas Jordan has had the benefit of a generally tolerant community.

Sadly, this couple’s marriage has been tainted by this awful experience.  What should have been a very joyful time was really damaged by bigotry.